If your birthday gets celebrated at work it probably looks, tastes, or smells like
- a box of chocolates,
- an invitation for drinks,
- a bouquet of flowers, or
- a bottle of whisky.
It’s nice…yet is that what they really desire?
Studies abound highlighting the link between quality performance and recognition of a job well done and a sense of belonging to a team. Why not offer a gift that truly matters for your colleague?
Offer the Gift of Listening
We all have feedback to give and many of us wonder how and when to express it. When it comes to sharing an insight with hierarchy, the time never seems right.
Make it easy for your team member and offer them openness to their viewpoint. Seriously, present it as a gift.
One CEO invites the employees with birthdays in that month to join her for lunch. It’s their time to ask her questions about the company.
Another manager schedules a one-on-one meeting with two agenda items:
- one behavior the team member appreciates in the manager and that he hopes the manager will continue doing
- one behavior the team member finds challenging. They discuss a specific time this behavior occurred, and the employee expresses what he would have preferred as an outcome.
Be the Gift – Offer to Help THEIR WAY
I am regularly asked to help unblock relationship challenges and one of the common culprits is assumptions.
To assume makes an A.S.S. out of U and ME
– my brother
To assume makes an A.S.S. out of U and ME. Like when we assume our team member wants our advice…when, really, those wise words sound like a command (yet another one).
Or when you do your colleague a favor and your efforts are not appreciated to their “just value.” Maybe he really wanted the manager to stop interrupting him with busywork so that he could complete the task himself.
If you want to be a gift, let your colleague choose how. “I notice the deadline is approaching and there still is much to do. How can I help? It’s your birthday. Ask whatever.”
(re)Celebrate a Success on the
Million $ Birthday Chair
“Effective managers build on strengths.”
– Peter Drucker
Relive a Success
Are you too looking for ways to get big bang out of less time, energy, and funds? The Birthday Chair does it every year. For less than $1, the birthday person feels like $1 Million!
Give them an opportunity to relive a moment when they succeeded and were proud of themselves. Designate a chair as the Birthday Chair and decorate it if you lifke. Then, together, discuss one of their achievement, focusing on
- the feelings generated by the success
- the conditions that contributed to the achievements
This is a powerful tool to encourage employees and allow them to connect with the purpose of their work.
It can seem out of place to revisit an “old” event. That’s where the Birthday Chair can create the occasion. It’s a moment that is out of the ordinary.
Explore Success with all the Senses
I like to focus on each of the senses when reliving a success. It’s like adding muscle and tissue to a skeleton. The achievement comes to life in multiple dimensions and feeds the desire to achieve further.
Here is an example of helping a team member revisit their great presentation
- What did it look like?
Team member (TM): “It was motivating to have everyone’s attention and not to have people perched on their phones!” - What did it sound like?
TM: “During the Q & A, people asked relevant questions that moved the discussion forward. They were clearly interested.” - What did it feel like?
TM: “I know now that I can overcome the butterflies in my stomach when speaking in public.” - What did it smell like?
TM: “Sweat! From now on, I’m keeping a travel size bottle of my fragrance with me to freshen up before making a presentation.” - What did it taste like?
TM: “Champagne!”
Uncover the Conditions for Success
You can even dig further to understand the conditions that helped create the success and to explore how these conditions could be replicated.
Recognize their Unique Gift to the Team
When do you discuss your team members’ qualities with them? Usually during the performance review, which is also when people are stressed and wary of critique.
When do you focus on the capabilities you seek to transmit? Try intentionally creating occasions to recognize qualities. Birthdays present an excuse to experiment with a positive approach.
Here is a birthday card offered by the team to one of their colleagues. Each person wrote something they appreciate about the birthday person’s contribution to the group.
Download your card here.
Apply to Life
Million $ Birthday Chair at Home
We love this big bang for little buck method to make a child feel special and belonged.
We decorate one chair BIG TIME: at least 6 balloons and as many streamers. The chair goes in the middle of the room where the kids (or all ages) gather for the presents. It’s also the throne on which he reigns during the Birthday Story Time.
The Birthday Story Time
Share a story to encourage your child to grow in confidence, character, and responsibility.
- What happened the day they were born?
- What quality have you observed them develop this past year?
- What is a sign of growing confidence?
- How have they helped you become a better person or parent?
- What do they do that makes you feel loved by them?
About YOU
When did you feel appreciated at work for your birthday? Share it with us in the comments.
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