Join our list
Subscribe to our mailing list and get interesting stuff and updates to your email inbox.
Today’s Gift on the Joy. Peace. Love. @ Home advent calendar for parents
35% discount on a 7 week class of Positive Discipline for Parents
by a team of Positive Discipline trainers
How to receive this gift? Take the fun quiz on the Parent Advent Calendar today and you could be the lucky one to win the draw.
A 7 week Positive Discipline course covers these helpful topics: the Positive Approach – Firm AND Kind SIMULTANEOUSLY – Belief Behind the Behavior & Children’s Mistaken Goals – Focusing on Solutions & Encouragement – Life Lessons Learned from Siblings – Stress Responses & Family Meetings – Setting and Keeping Agreements & Continuum of Change.
Among our first activities is to guide parents in creating a “Feel Good” space for themselves and for each of the kids.
Your price = 150€ for 14 hours of group training. These are experiential training sessions, that is, we learn through activities, roles plays, and with lots of laughter. (Good mood makes good learning ????)
Does Happy @ Home = Happy @ Work ?
In many cases, yes. And research studies show that this applies to children and their performance at school and in sports.
Our mood impacts how we think.
Our thoughts impact how we perform.
In Psychology Today, Sian Beilock, Ph.D. asserts that good mood positively impacts performance in situations which require flexibility to possibly shift goals or when we exhaust many different hypotheses.
(Sian Beilock is a psychology professor at The University of Chicago and an expert on the brain science behind performance failure under pressure.)
Let’s translate Professor Beilock’s terms into the family context:
- “when solving a difficult logistics issue” – Who will pick up Suzy at the birthday party and how will we get food in the fridge when the car is in the shop?
- “when juggling several different tasks at once” – bath + dinner preparation + homework + finding out about the day +…
Beilock is one of many acclaimed scientists proving such concepts. Here are some findings from the international Mood & Performance study of 450 children between ages 11 and 12 years. (by Terry, Lane, Beedie, Curry, and Clark in 2001)
- Feeling down decreases the ability to regulate other moods leading to feelings anticipated failure
- People who feel low tend to believe a task is beyond their perceived abilities…and in turn are angry with themselves
- “The blues” tend to focus people on negative previous experiences. They think they can’t.
As a result they set lower goals and try less hard to reach them.
Conversely people in positive moods set more challenging objectives AND are more likely to achieve them.
Good Mood -> Good Goals + Good Effort -> Good Performance
Good Mood = Smoother Functioning of Family
What Studies do Not Conclude
BEWARE of jumping into invalid interpretations.
Here are a few disclaimers:
- Good Mood ≠ Problem-Free Life + Always-Obeying Kids
We will have challenges. That’s how we grow.
- Good Mood ≠ More Time + Less Stress (when I overscheduled myself and the kids)
There are 24 hours per day. Period. Everyday.
- Good Mood ≠ Children are Royalty + Parents are servants
Getting everything that you request is not a proven source of happiness. Quite the contrary. Instead of, “Thank you,” the response is often, “Just a little bit more.“
Or conversely… (and this is how I acted for tooooo long a time)
- Good Performance ≠ Focus on Mistakes + Scold for Low Effort
According to these studies, phrases these phrases (which I used to “motivate”) backfire.
“How could you do that AGAIN?”
“Don’t you learn?!”
How to Get More Good Mood @ Home ?
That’s where I love the approach of Positive Discipline, a science based set of tools to build respect-filled and cooperative relationships.
Parents learn ways to set firm limits AND connect with kids. Many of the relationship tools provide opportunities to include youngsters in decision-making (often referred to as solution-finding).
- Parents assure the respect of limits and the accomplishment of necessary, daily tasks (teeth brushing, getting to school, peaceful siblings…)
- Children feel belonged and fill their need to contribute, to have value
In France, Positive Discipline training is gaining inroads
- in families
- in private and public (!) schools
- in corporations (the concepts are applied in leadership training to manager-coach relations)
Today’s gift is a 35% discount on a 7 week Positive Discipline course. Your price = 150€ for 14 hours of group training. These are experiential training sessions, that is, we learn through activities, roles plays, and with lots of laughter. (Good mood makes good learning ????)
Classes are led throughout the year by various trained leaders such as Denise Dampierre and Chantal Bourges (whom you have already met through this Advent Calendar), Alix de Salaberry, Rozenn LeRoux Mion, Leila de Monclin, and more…
What Parents Say About Positive Discipline Classes
“Thank you. You changed the way I relate to my kids. I used to want to change them. Now, I enjoy them…and in the process we ALL change!”
“I used to no longer like the person I was as a mother. Thanks to these tips and putting them into practice, I have changed, and so has my relationship with the boys and with my husband. I look in the mirror and I like who I see.”
“I took this class for less stress for me. I got so much more: learning how to pass on life skills to my children, getting my priorities in order, and enjoying life.”
“The sessions gave me a time ‘off’ where I could step back, re-evaluate the way I parent, and put in place a long term strategy to help my children and our family prosper.”
My Favorite Names for “Feel-Good” Spaces
“Cuddly Corner” – A parent in one of our classes came up with this
“Santorini” – A Greek Island. It’s sunny and sounds more original than Hawaii.
“Eiffel Tower Perch” – Thank you photographer Marc Riboud for stretching my imagination. What works for others might not work for me and you. 🙂
What will you call yours?
Cover photo by Samuel Foster on Unsplash