Today’s Gift on the Joy. Peace. Love. @ Home advent calendar for parents
A Family Meeting for your family in your home
facilitated by Denise Dampierre, Positive Discipline educator
How to receive this gift? Take the fun quiz on the Parent Advent Calendar today and you could be the lucky one to win the draw.
A Family Meeting is an opportunity for children to give feedback to parents, both about what they appreciate in family and areas where they would like to see change. Parents always seem intrigued…then wary. “What if the kids will make a laundry list of our faults and we will feel overwhelmed?”
With a clear and positive structure, Family Meetings are enjoyed by all!
Today’s gift is a Family Meeting in your home with your family held under the guidance of Positive Discipline trained Denise Dampierre. After a brief introduction, you will begin the Family Meeting by sharing thanks. What each family member appreciates in the other. Then we will broach issues to change and close by celebrating your family.
This structured discussion lasts 30 plus minutes, depending upon the number and ages of the children.
The sharing of THANKS sets the tone for the Family Meeting.
An attitude of gratitude also sets the tone for this gift-giving and gift-receiving season.
The Christmas Nightmare
You may have experienced this too. It’s Christmas morning and the SUPER-EXCITED kids are Ready. Set. GO. to open their gifts.
Son and Daughter rip off the wrapping paper (you spent hours to put on) and discard the shreds on the living room floor.
Then they wail. They did not receive The. ONE. Present. they oh-so-badly wanted. They gave you a list of 10 wishes and you offered them 9 and, oooops, you missed the right one.
Or it could be they don’t like the chocolates offered by Great Aunt Martha. Your child prefers milk chocolate with krispies, not this fancy (and expensive) stuff.
Or a sibling received better or more presents than they did….
The supposed-to-be magic festivities result in an emotional breakdown.
When Christmas Magic Means Fair
Parents work hard to prevent such a scene. We spend fortunes on our children. We make lists and compare the “value” of gifts so that the kids feel Christmas is “fair.” (Fair to whom? To you? To the child born in South Sudan?)
What about another approach? It might require a paradigm shift.
When Christmas Magic Means Thankful
Remember the movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life” with James Stewart. Stewart plays George Bailey, a kind-hearted man who regularly sacrificed his well-being for the good of others. One of these altruistic acts got him into major financial trouble. In desperation, George turns to the town’s banker-tyrant, Mr. Potter. Potter, referring to George’s life insurance policy, tells him
“You’re worth more dead than alive.”
That’s when George decides to take his life … but is given the chance to see what life would be like had he not been born. He is given the gift of glimpsing the value of his life which, in his discouragement he had been too blind to see.
It’s people’s thankfulness for George that transformed the situation. First came the change in attitude. This then enabled a reversal in circumstances.
There’s a multiplier effect to appreciativeness.
Thankfulness opens the eyes to more gratitude.
Being thankful for a tree with flickering lights leads to gratitude for electricity, and an income to buy the decorations, and the dedication of the garbage folk who pick up the spindly debris (stuffed into those recycling bags of course!)
Gratitude Can be Taught
Gratitude can be taught!
Thankfulness is a mindset which develops through practice. Like any habit, the more we do it, the easier it is…and then it just comes naturally.
Like many new skills, it can feel awkward at the beginning. We all start somewhere.
Olympic medalists did with their sports.
We can too with our thanks.
So when folk shrug their shoulders and excuse their self-focus with “It’s just not part of my personality or part of my culture,” think again. It might not be part of their practice. Yet!
Olympians excel in their domain through a discipline training plan. So, what plan will you put in place to train yourself and the kids in gratitude?
Train as of Today
Advance step by step to encourage a thankful spirit (and preventing a Christmas Nightmare) in the next few days
- Be an example of thankfulness. Say, “Thank you” five times today.
- As you put your child to bed ask them about one thing for which they are thankful today
- Be thankful out loud for something that you usually take for granted: electricity, sunshine, comfy sofas
- Say “Thank you” to your partner while your children are within earshot
- Share ONE Great Thanks to every child
- Be thankful for this day. So excited to see what it will bring!
- Transform a “calamity” (spilled milk, dirty clothes…) into a question. What could you and I do differently next time? Say “Thanks for this time thinking of solutions together. I learned about you and felt heard too.”
- Share a train of thanks. “I’m thankful for a car. It makes it possible to visit Grampa and Grandma. I’m thankful that you have so many people who love you. I’m even thankful that I’m hungry because I’m looking forward to our meal together even more!”
- The day after that
- You decide!
Prepare for a great Christmas morning NOW by practicing thanks.
Take the time to practice.