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Today’s Gift on the Joy. Peace. Love. @ Home advent calendar for parents
A Candle for Relaxation and Well-Being
from (Une Parenthèse Bougie)
How to receive this gift? Take the fun quiz on the Parent Advent Calendar today and you could be the lucky one to win the draw.
There is something wonder-full about candlelight. For kids of all ages!
Is it the hypnotic way the flame flickers?
Or the association of candles with memory-filled events
- Fancy meals, like at a restaurant or with the “grown up plates”
- Visits to churches where candls flicker and light strwons through the color-filled stained-glass windows
- And Christmas or Hanukah!
And it might be with the way adults treat fire with such care. “Darling, CAREFUL. Your can get burned.” Literally.
Love flickers like flames too. A spark enflames and warms or burns. Figuratively.
Children’s Questions – What do they wonder about?
Children have questions about fire and love. They have been hurt or seen others in pain. Why? How come?
How to answer their queries…when we hardly have answers ourselves.
What if activities with candles could help shed light on your children’s searching for answers about loving others and about being loved.
- “Do you love me more than _______?”
- “Does love stop?”
- “So many bad things happen. I’m so small. Can just a tiny bit of good make a difference?”
“Why be good when there is so much bad?”
Children sure do have a knack for asking Some. Tough. Questions.
Do you or I even have the answer to this one? If we did, could we express such complex responses in words that our children can understand?
Here is an activity that conveys the power of hope in the face of just a tiny bit of light.
- Take your children into a totally dark room.
Sometimes the only place is a windowless bathroom. One friend spoke of taking the children into their WC (in France there is a room with just the toilet seat). What unique memories they cherish!
- Bring along one candle and a match or lighter.
- Notice the blackness without making it scary.
“I can’t see anything!”
“How many fingers am I holding up?”
“Let me try and find your nose…oh is that your ear instead?!”
- Ask the kids how they feel…and how this makes them want to act.
“I feel alone so I want to talk and have you talk to me so that I know I’m not alone.”
“I feel lost so I’m scared to move. I don’t want to hurt myself.”
- Light the candle.
- Notice that it is one-small-flame in One. Whole. Room.
- Now ask how they feel and how this makes them want to act.
“I see just enough to move and not hurt myself. I can move.”
“I see you and I know I am not alone. I can find your hand and we can be together.”
The children just EXPERIENCED the answer to their philosophical quandary. One small light makes a HUGE difference. “Be a light, darling. Be kind even if others are being mean.”
“Does Love Stop?”
What happens when grandfather dies? Or when couples separate? Or when friends move to another city? Does love stop?!
This question surely benefits from answers in layers. A few words one day. A different approach a next day. Reading a book together about the subject. And possibly this activity with a candle.
What you need:
It works best with a candle, something to light it, a cup to turn upside down over the flame. A transparent cup or glass makes this even more dramatic.
- Gather the children around the lighted candle on the table.
Admire the flames and it’s lively flicker.
- Notice together how this candle is like love, burning and warm.
- Cover the candle with the cup turn upside down over the flame. Allow a bit of smoke to gather inside the cup before smothering out the flame.
- Remove the cup and notice how the smoke is visible and rises from the still glowing wick. It rises in a clear ribbon of smoke and then diffuses into the air and throughout the room.
- Notice how we even breathe in tiny bits of the rest of the flame and carry it in our bodies!
In a similar way, the love for the child remains when someone dies or distance separates. Love takes on a different form, one that can travel far.
Even when we do not see the flame or feel its warmth as we did before, the love is still there.
“Do you love me more?”
We do this activity in our Positive Discipline classes. We”ll discover it together in person. Ask about upcoming classes here.
Wishing you peace AND growth as we all struggle through understanding and living out Love.
Contact (Une Parenthèse Bougie)