Kids friends walking together

Vitalize Friendships

Posted on by Denise

Today’s Gift on the Joy. Peace. Love. @ Home advent calendar for parents

A 10% discount on a Private Champagne Tasting for 4 people
by Mary Kirk Bonnet, Champagne Expert

How to receive this gift?  Take the fun quiz on the Parent Advent Calendar today and you could be the lucky one to win the draw.

Did you know that friendships help you be a better spouse and parent?  Yet after marriage they are more difficult to maintain.  Today’s gift provides just an opportunity for a memory-making, bonding moment with friends.

Friends toasting with champagne
Cheers to lasting friendships.

Under the tutelage of Champagne expert, Mary Kirk Bonnet, and in the setting of a beautiful vaulted cave in the 5th arrondissement in Paris, you will learn about the champagne region and taste three different champagnes accompanied by a selection of French charcuterie and cheeses which do justice to the sparkle in your flute.  The special rate through the Parent Advent Calendar is 58.50€ per person for a group of four.

Friends for Kids

Childhood is filled with friendships.

Here is what parents tell their children

“Choose your friends wisely.”

“Some friends are for playing, some for trusting, some for working together, some for going on adventures
  That’s why you have more than one friend.”

Friends for Adults (big kids)

Research shows that marriage changes friendships.  Girlfriend Parties and Guys Night Out become fewer and farther in between.  With more relationships to nurture in the same 24 hours of the day, we struggle to find the energy, time, and money (all of which are limited resources to parents) to organize events with friends.

And yet, friends help us become better partners and better parents.  We discover facets of our spouse when we are with friends.  And they reveal things about us and our loved ones that we could not accept from those closest to us.

What you learn about your spouse when you’re with friends

When you and your partner come home, the children tend to fill the space, both in the mind as well as the physical environment.

“How was school?”

“it’s time to stop playing that video game and to pick up your toys.”

“What’s for dinner?!”

And by the time the kids are tucked into bed, we have just the energy to pay a few bills, organize the children’s social calendar, and plan a few moments as family.

Research reports that couples spend an average of only 10 minutes per day in quality discussion! 

 

With friends, we discuss topics,
not day-to-day planning

“So, how are the kids?”
And you hear your spouse’s viewpoint on the children’s development.  (S)He notices all of that with our child?  (S)He did not mention the issue that concerns me with our child…might it not be such a big deal?!

“Whatever happened to _____ (that hobby of yours)?”
And you learn that indeed your partner does miss investing in his/her pastime.   What if there were a way to share this interest with the kids?

“You’ve been in that job for a while.  What’s the next step?”
You learn that your spouse has dreams that were not mentioned yet.  Why not?! Well, admittedly, it’s hard to discuss life goals in the two minutes between Joey’s bedtime drama and the upcoming visit with Mother-in-Law!

Enjoy your time with Mary Kirk Bonnet and the Champagne tasting.

AND enjoy your time making memories and sharing with friends.

Photos from Unsplash by Annie Spratt, Nik MacMillan, and Robert Collins

Hands helping each other

Faites la Paix avec Quelqu’un

Posted on by Denise

Le Cadeau du Jour sur le calendrier de l’avent Joy. Peace. Love. @ Home

1 heure de coaching pour réparer une relation + des SMS quotidiens de suivis pendant 1 semaine avec Denise Dampierre 

Comment recevoir ce cadeau ? Faites le quizz amusant du Calendrier de l’Avent pour Parents aujourd’hui, et vous avez l’opportunitĂ© de gagner le cadeau grĂące Ă  notre tirage au sort. N’hĂ©sitez plus, la chance est avec vous !

Le cadeau du jour vous aide Ă  vivre une vie sans regrets et Ă  rĂ©parer vos relations. Vous recevrez une heure de coaching pour crĂ©er un plan de rĂ©conciliation et vous bĂ©nĂ©ficieriez d’un suivi SMS quotidien pendant 1 semaine pour vous encourager et modifier votre plan selon vos besoins.

RĂ©concilier ?  C’est la Question

Obtenons l’avis sur ce sujet de personnalitĂ©s connues :

Steve Jobs, fondateur de Apple entre autre

Quel que soit l’Ă©tape de la vie dans laquelle nous sommes en ce moment, au final, nous allons devoir affronter le jour ou le rideau tombera.

Faites un trĂ©sor de l’amour pour votre famille, de l’amour pour votre mari ou femme, de l’amour pour vos amis…

Que chacun agisse avec amour et occupez-vous de votre prochain.

Clayton Christensen, professeur à Harvard Business School.  En parlant des relations parents-enfants :

Le temps de planter un arbre est avant que vous ayez besoin de son ombre.

Charmantes Dames

Que feriez-vous aujourd’hui pour que votre relation reste aussi forte et vive demain ?

L’histoire d’une maman

Voici un aperçu d’une conversation de coaching avec une mĂšre de quatre enfants :

Maman: “Je ne veux pas faire face aux erreurs du passĂ© que j’ai pu commettre avec mes enfants. Je suis humaine.”

S’excuser ? Non !

“Voici comment je traite mes erreurs du passĂ©. C’est comme si je les balayais sous le tapis et les plaçais derriĂšre moi pour que je ne les vois pas.”

Nous avons tous les deux beaucoup ri en imaginant la scĂšne et ce que les enfants verraient : une mĂšre souriante avec un tapis TRES CAHOTEUX derriĂšre elle! LOL

Pendant que nous parlions, elle a admis que les dĂ©bris se trouvaient vraiment entre elle et ces enfants, comme un obstacle Ă  escalader pour gagner de l’intimitĂ©.

Maman: “Un petit obstacle n’est pas un problĂšme.”

Coach: “Quel est votre objectif avec vos enfants? Avoir une grande intimitĂ© ou de petits problĂšmes? “

Hand building lego wall
Les barriÚres se construisent ou se détruisent ?

Désolé Semble Etre le plus Difficile des mots

“Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word” – le titre d’une chanson de Elton John

“Mais j’ai raison!”

Les parents peuvent se demander: “Pourquoi s’excuser quand j’ai raison?!”

Il faut deux personnes pour avoir un conflit. TrĂšs rarement une partie a 100% raison et l’autre a complĂ©tement faux.

En ce qui concerne le problĂšme sous-jacent entre vous et votre enfant, vous avez probablement raison. La chambre a besoin d’ĂȘtre nettoyĂ©e. Il faut rentrer Ă  l’heure aprĂšs la fĂȘte. La façon dont vos enfants parlent aux aĂźnĂ©s compte Ă©galement.

Et le processus compte aussi. Peut-ĂȘtre avez-vous eu une rĂ©action excessive ? Êtes-vous fermĂ© aux commentaires de votre enfant qui voulait partager son point de vue ? Des distractions ont-elles limitĂ©es votre capacitĂ© Ă  vous concentrer sur votre bien-aimĂ©  ?

Durant le coaching, j’aide les parents Ă  savoir quand ils ont mis de l’huile sur le feu et que cela a entraĂźnĂ© des tensions dans la famille.

Ne soyez pas dĂ©solĂ© de demander Ă  votre enfant de ranger sa chambre. C’est votre devoir de parent.

Vous pouvez vous sentir attristĂ© de lui crier dessus quand il ne vous a pas rĂ©pondu aprĂšs que vous lui ayez demandĂ© de faire quelques choses plusieurs fois. “Et, chĂ©rie, est-ce que nous pouvons travailler ensemble de telle sorte que je ne sois pas tentĂ© d’Ă©lever la voix parce que tu ne me rĂ©ponds pas plus rapidement ?

“Est-ce que les excuses vous rendre plus faibles?”

Au contraire. Des excuses sincÚres de votre part vous rende authentique, une des qualités que les adolescents apprécient chez les adultes.

Marilyn Price-Mitchell, rappelle aux parents que le respect est assimilĂ© Ă  un exemple de comportement et de langage respectueux, et non Ă  un acte “ d’’enseignement ” traditionnel (un discours). MĂȘme les jeunes enfants comprennent quand les adultes ne vont pas dans leur sens. À l’adolescence, ces messages contradictoires peuvent entraĂźner des divisions de plus en plus profondes entre les adolescents et les adultes.

(Marilyn Price-Mitchell est l’auteur du livre “Tomorrow’s Change Makers: ReconquĂ©rir le pouvoir de la citoyennetĂ© pour une nouvelle gĂ©nĂ©ration”. Psychologue du dĂ©veloppement et chercheuse, elle travaille Ă  l’intersection du dĂ©veloppement positif de la jeunesse et l’Ă©ducation.)

Chat et chien réconciliés
Comme c’est BEAU la rĂ©conciliation !

Se rĂ©concilier, c’est choisir d’aimer

Nelson Mandela disait :

“La rancƓur est le poison que l’on boit en pensant tuer son ennemi.”

Se rĂ©concilier ne signifie pas qu’un comportement incorrect devient tout Ă  coup acceptable. Une mauvaise action reste mauvaise.

RĂ©parer une relation, c’est choisir d’aimer mĂȘme quand on a Ă©tĂ© blessĂ© et d’oublier sa rancune pour avancer.

Se reconnecter met la priorité dans la relation plutÎt que de se concentrer sur le manque de respect, le retard perpétuel, ou le comportement difficile de nos enfants.

Il se peu…

Il arrive souvent (mais pas toujours) que lorsqu’une personne reconnaisse ses torts dans un conflit, l’autre le fasse aussi.

 

Note: Ce coaching sera réalisé avec Denise Dampierre, une éducatrice spécialisée et certifiée en Discipline Positive. Si votre situation nécessite une expertise médicale ou psychologique, Denise peut vous recommander à un spécialiste.

Photo de Brooke Cagle sur Unsplash et de PetsWorld

Hands helping each other

Make Peace with Someone

Posted on by Denise

Today’s Gift on the Joy. Peace. Love. @ Home advent calendar for parents

1 hour Relationship Repair Coaching + daily SMS follow through for 1 week
with Denise Dampierre

How to receive this gift?  Take the fun quiz on the Parent Advent Calendar today and you could be the lucky one to win the draw.

Today’s gift helps you live a life without regrets and to repair a relationship.  You receive 1 hour of coaching to create a reconciliation action plan and daily SMS follow through for a week to provide encouragement and tweak your plan as needed.

Let’s gain insights from wizened folk.

Steve Jobs, founder of Apple and much more

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.

Clayton Christensen, professor at Harvard Business School.  In speaking about parent-child relationships

The time to plant a tree is before you need the shade.

Lovely Ladies

What will you do TODAY so that TOMORROW your relationships remain vibrant and strong?

A Mom’s Story

Here is a glimpse of a coaching conversation with a mother of four children:

Mom: “I don’t want to deal with past mistakes I may have made with my kids.  I’m human.

Apologize?  No!

Here is how I treat my past blunders.  It’s like I sweep them under the rug and place them behind me so that I don’t see them.”

We both laughed as we imagined the scene and what the kids’ saw: a smiling mother with a VERY BUMPY rug behind her!  L.O.L.

As we shared, she admitted that the debris really lay between herself and the children, like a hurdle to climb to gain intimacy.

Mom: “A small hurdle is not a problem.”

Coach: “What’s your goal with the children? Big intimacy or small problems?”

Hand building lego wall
Building or taking down the relationship barrier?

Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word

“But I am Right!”

Parents may wonder, “Why apologize when I am right?!”

It takes two people to have a conflict.  Very rarely is one party 100% in the right and the other completely at fault.

Regarding the underlying issue between you and your child, you are probably right.  The room does need to get cleaned.  Curfew is to be respected.  The way one speaks to elders matters.

AND process matters too.  Might there have been an over-reaction?  Were you closed to feedback and your child wanted to share his point of view? Did viable distractions limit your ability to focus on your loved one?

In the coaching I help parents realize where they may have added fuel to a slight tension flicker
which resulted in a full-blown flame.

Don’t be sorry for asking your child to clean his room.  That is your parenting prerogative.

You can be sorry for screaming at him when he did not respond after you asked him numerous times.  “And, darling, can we work out together a way that I won’t be tempted to raise my voice because you would respond more quickly?”

“Will apologizing make we look weak?”

On the contrary.  A sincere apology for YOUR part of the conflict makes you authentic, one of the qualities teenagers appreciate in adults.

Marilyn Price-Mitchell, PhD reminds parents that respect is assimilated through language and modeling, not through the act of traditional “teaching.” Even young children understand when adults are not walking their talk. By adolescence, those mixed messages can cause deeper and deeper divides between teens and adults.

(Marilyn Price-Mitchell, PhD, is the author of Tomorrow’s Change Makers: Reclaiming the Power of Citizenship for a New Generation. A developmental psychologist and researcher, she works at the intersection of positive youth development and education.)

Reconciled cat and dog
Isn’t reconciliation PRECIOUS !

We reconcile to choose to love.  To reconnect.

Nelson Mandela is reputed to say,

“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

Reconciling does not mean pretending that the incorrect behavior suddenly becomes acceptable.  The mis-action remains wrong.

Repairing the relationship means choosing to love even when you have been hurt and to let go of the resentment so that you can keep thriving.

Reconnecting places the priority on the relationship rather than on the back-talk, perpetual tardiness, or any other of our children’s challenging behaviors.

Wonder!

It often happens (but not always) that when one person recognizes their part in a conflict, the other party admits their misdead too.  Phew !

 

Note: This coaching will be with Denise Dampierre, a trained Positive Discipline educator and certified in Appreciative Inquiry.  If your situation requires medical or psychological expertise, Denise can you recommend you to a specialist.

 

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash and PetsWorld

Maman NYC in Paris

Make Friends with the Neighbors

Posted on by Denise

Today’s Gift on the Joy. Peace. Love. @ Home advent calendar for parents

Six Nutty Chocolate Chip Cookies
from Maman NYC Ă  Paris

Cookies from Maman NYC

How to get yours?  Take today’s quiz (Click on today’s number and “Click to play”) on the advent calendar and YOU could be the lucky one who’s name gets drawn to receive the offer.

Maman’s cookies are sosooper big and delicious, they are toooo much to keep to ourself.  The team, led by Antoine, are happy to offer cookies for you AND some to give to the folk next door.


AND a visit to Maman CafĂ© is a gift that you could even offer yourself ????  Come on over
and invite a friendly “voisin.” (neighbor in French).

 

Good Neighbors Matter for Parents

Life as a parents is a LOT EASIER with positive relationships with the neighbors.  Here is how.

Good Neighbor Relations for Parents of Babies

True story.

This note was placed on the doormat of our neighbors.

“Dear Neighbors,

Hi.  I’m Paul.  That’s me in the photo between my two older brothers.

I’m very sorry you were frustrated by my cries last night.  Let me tell you, I was frustrated too!  I tried to tell my parents what was wrong, and they did not understand.  I tried harder.  And then harder again.  (That’s when you banged on the wall.)

I’m trying hard to teach my parents what I’m saying.  I hope they’ll learn quickly.  I guess you do too.

Well, maybe we’ll see each other around
when I’m smiling.  In the meantime, I wish you well.”

Good Neighbor Relations for Parents of Kids

True story.

Request at the neighbor’s door.

“Hi.  I’m sorry to be ringing in the evening after dinner.  You see, it’s our son’s birthday tomorrow and tonight he proposed pancakes for breakfast
only we ate our last eggs at dinner!  Could we borrow two eggs, please?”

Good Neighbor Relations for Parents of Teens

True story.

Conversation with a previous neighbor who moved to another part of town.

Neighbor: “Hi.  I saw your son in our new quarters the other day?”

Parent: “Oh, yes
?”

N: “Yeah.  On Friday in the middle of the afternoon.  He was hanging out with friends
.”

Later

Conversation between parent and teen.

Parent: “Hi darling.  I ran into our previous neighbors and they said they saw you.” (pause)

Teen: “Hum.”

Parent: “Yes, on Friday in the middle of the afternoon.  When do you have math class, again?”

Teen: “OH!  Friday!  I remember!  YES!”

Parent: “O.K. What were you doing?  What was happening?”


.

Maman NYC in Paris – the Story of Neighbors

It’s the story of a French baker who opens up a bake shop in New York City, and out of his oven pop   American staples with French flair.  And more bake shops pop up too, the latest one in Paris.

Maman serves “Cake” (in France this refers to pound cake), coffee and tea all day long and delicious sandwiches for lunch.

How do they blend US & French cooking?  Try their Carrot Orange Pound Cake.  YUM!  No cream cheese frosting.  Simply an icing of white chocolate.

Their Totally Nutty Cookies rank as my favorite for dessert and coffee.  You’ll win over your neighbors with these, for sure ????

In Paris, Maman is located at 118 rue de Turenne in the 3rd arrondissement.  Open Tuesdays through Saturdays from 10:00 to 19:00.  The café is tucked inside Mona, the co-working space for women by My Little Paris, AXA Insurance, Estée Lauder, and Nike.

 

Mona & My Little Paris – the Story of Neighbors

Have YOU received your Parisian experience, wrapped up “à la Française,” delivered to your mailbox?  That’s the My Little Paris specialty: the best of the City of Lights brought “chez vous.”

Neighboring is in their essence.  A group of five women, they launched the company that uncovers delights of Parisian “quartiers” (various parts of town) and share the news.  As they prospered, they sought to share success with a larger community of entrepreneurial women.  Supported by AXA Insurance, Nike, and EstĂ©e Lauder, My Little Paris birthed Mona, a space for women to gather and grow their businesses together.

And did you know?  They launched the American Quarter Hour!  Fifteen minutes of pause from computer and phone to be daring American-style and introduce yourself to your co-working neighbor!

 

Come on over to Maman CafĂ© at Mona to taste their Totally Nutty Cookies and bring some home for your “voisins.”

#monabymylittleparis

Child in front of Christmas presents

Co + Work = Joy. Peace. Love. @ Home chez vous

Posted on by Denise

Il Ă©tait une fois des entrepreneures parisiennes qui ont rĂȘvĂ© de vous offrir un calendrier de l’avent pour vous, les parents.  Et cette petite germe a poussĂ©…

et nous vous offrons 1000€ de cadeaux (!!) Ă  travers un calendrier de l’avent interactive et en ligne.  

(Vous pouvez vous y inscrire sur le calendrier en français or the one in English.)

Voici notre histoire…

Tout a commencé avec Mona

Quand cette escape gratuit de co-working a ouvert en Novembre, j’ai saisi l’opportunitĂ© de travailler dans ce cadre fĂ©minin et dynamique.

Un grand MERCI à tous les sponsors : My Little Paris, AXA Insurance, Estée Lauder, and Nike qui nous ont accueilli dans leurs locaux du 1er Novembre au 31 Décembre 2017.

Que peut-on faire dans un espace de co-working qu’on ne peut pas faire Ă  la maison tout seul ?

CO et WORK!

Cinq minutes aprĂšs avoir franchi la porte d’entrĂ©e, je me suis prĂ©sentĂ© Ă  la femme assise Ă  ma table. A vrai dire, elle y Ă©tait installĂ©e confortablement et, avec le sourire, je lui ai dĂ©rangĂ© pour lui ai demandĂ© si je pouvais me joindre Ă  elle. Je me suis fixĂ© un objectif : rencontrer cinq nouvelles personnes tous les jours.  J’ai dĂ©couvert des femmes passionnĂ©es travaillant sur des projets captivants.

Quel projet captivant pourrais-je construire pour partager ma passion : que les familles puissent rester soudées malgré les crises de colÚre, la désobéissance des enfants et les frustrations de la vie quotidienne ?

Un “CO” project!

Il fallait une raison d’ĂȘtre

En tant que coach parental formĂ© aux principes adlĂ©riens, j’enseigne les principes d’appartenance et de contribution Ă  une communautĂ© avec un sens, une raison d’ĂȘtre.

Donc quel but pour notre collaboration potentielle?

A cette pĂ©riode de l’annĂ©e, NoĂ«l me semblait une Ă©vidence. Et pourtant, les Français critiquĂ© son cĂŽtĂ© trop commercial.

Cependant nous nous retrouvons autour du sens de NoĂ«l : la joie, la paix et l’amour.

Nous, les parents, nous sommes ceux qui Les parents amĂšnent la joie et la paix Ă  la maison.

Voilà!  Joy. Peace. Love. @ Home

 

Plus fort ensemble

EnthousiasmĂ© par l’idĂ©e, j’ai dĂ©couvert un magnifique calendrier de l’avent en ligne crĂ©Ă© par Dot.vu. Jetez-y un coup d’Ɠil. Une pĂ©riode d’essaie sur le site m’a permis de tester le service et de le prĂ©senter aux collaborateurs potentiels.  Le service de Dot.vu est top : Tom m’a proposĂ© un guide personnalisĂ© de 30 minutes afin de comprendre le fonctionnement du logiciel et Pedro rĂ©pond Ă  mes nombreuses requĂȘtes de maniĂšre efficace et professionnelle.

EnthousiasmĂ©s par cette outil, 15 entrepreneurs ont dĂ©cidĂ© de m’y rejoindre.

C’est un plaisir de vous les prĂ©senter.

(Pour connaĂźtre les cadeaux, rendez-vous tous les jours sur Joy. Peace. Love. @ Home)

Denise Dampierre, fondatrice de SoSooper

En savoir un peu plus sur moi : DiplĂŽmĂ©e d’un MBA de Harvard et mĂšre de 4 garçons, je dĂ©crirai les premiĂšres annĂ©es de la parentalitĂ© comme la gestion de l’Ă©nergie.  Faire se dĂ©penser les garçons; et prĂ©server la mienne. Ensuite, nous nous concentrions sur “la crĂ©ation de souvenirs positives” et la crĂ©ation d’une culture de famille oĂč tout le monde prospĂšre. Ma passion: aider Ă  Ă©lever la prochaine gĂ©nĂ©ration d’hommes et de femmes remplis de joie, travaillant pour la paix, et sachant aimer.

Adrien Bracon, Coiffeur Ă  Domicile

FormĂ© chez Jean-Marc Manniatis, Adrien coiffe mes cheveux depuis des annĂ©es.  Lors de ses visites, nous transformons notre salon en salon de coiffure. Au lieu de trimbaler quatre enfants au salon de coiffure et d’attendre que chaque enfant passe, nous passions ce temps Ă  se blottir chez nous pendant qu’Adrien coiffait toute la famille. Il est si talentueux, je lui laisse carte blanche concernant ma coiffure.

Alice Lamotte

MĂšre de quatre enfants, Alice et moi nous sommes rencontrĂ©s grĂące Ă  la Discipline Positive.  Nous recherchions toutes les deux une formation pour construire des maisons coopĂ©ratives et respectueuses … d’abord chez nous puis au-delĂ . Alice regorge d’énergie. Elle allie santĂ© physique et bien-ĂȘtre socio-Ă©motionnel dans son coaching Gym & Talk. 

Beija-Flore

J’ai eu connaissance de BĂ©atrice Cornet Vernet via Femmepreneurs,, un rĂ©seau de femmes entrepreneurs dans l’Ouest de Paris. Je suis tombĂ©e amoureuse de ses accessoires en tissu Liberty. BĂ©atrice Ă©tait parmis les premiĂšres Ă  participer Ă  notre aventure sans s’ĂȘtre rencontrĂ© face-Ă -face!

Chantal Bourges

J’ai rencontrĂ© Chantal lors d’une confĂ©rence internationale de Discipline Positive.  Nous Ă©tions “roommates” ce qui permet de bien se connaĂźtre. MĂšre de cinq enfants, Chantal a siĂ©gĂ© au conseil d’administration des Associations de Discipline Positive France et International. Elle encadre et forme les parents et les enseignants localement et internationalement.

Elli Photography

J’ai rencontrĂ© Elli Loannou Ă  Mona.  Egalement une Anglophone (Elli est originaire d’Australie), elle adhĂ©rait aussi Ă  l’aspect «CO» du coworking. Elle est installĂ©e en tant que photographe de mode  et est formĂ©e aux photos analogiques. Cela signifie qu’elle saisit L’ instant (pensez aux enfants). Elli a Ă©tĂ© enchantĂ©e par notre projet collaboratif; “Je choisis de travailler avec cette communautĂ© ! » a-t-elle dit.

English Dream Cakes

En tant que membre du groupe Facebook Anglopreneurs, j’ai, un jour, Ă©tĂ© captivĂ©e par une photo de gĂąteaux dĂ©corĂ©s de maniĂšre dĂ©licate et magique. Le message est venu et est parti. L’image est restĂ©e. Et c’est une JOIE d’Ă©changer avec l’Ă©quipe mĂšre-fille Cheryl et Dew. Elles mĂ©lange la douceur avec le professionnel. Incorpore la crĂ©ativitĂ© et Ă©tale la gĂ©nĂ©rositĂ© abondamment. Le tout servi avec un dĂ©licieux sourire.

Feminicity

Amanda Wigby et moi avons appris Ă  nous apprĂ©cier les uns les autres grĂące Ă  … du «feedback» ! constructifs. Nous nous sommes mises au dĂ©fi de surmonter les diffĂ©rences qu’il y a souvent entre notre «Talk» (les services que nous fournissons) et notre «Walk» (comment nous exprimons notre expertise dans la vie quotidienne). Authentique, ouverte d’esprit et visionnaire, Coach Amanda nous aide, vous et moi, Ă  remplacer le comportement «je devrais» par l’action sur nos prioritĂ©s personnelles.

Light On

Un groupe d’Ă©tudiantes de l’ISCOM qui m’aide dans les coulisses de ce projet. Corriger mon français, donner leurs avis, faire du design, rester actif sur les rĂ©seaux sociaux et m’encourager. C’est en sachant qu’elles assurent mes arriĂšres que j’ai osĂ© m’aventurer sur ce projet. Merci Ă  AnaĂŻs Kisasondi, Ă  Camille Meunier-Sirven, Ă  Rose Rapp, Ă  Elodie Schwinn et Ă  Laura Wieczorek.

Ludocatix

Virginie Chabert s’associe Ă©galement Ă  nous grĂące à Femmepreneurs. Virginie crĂ©Ă© des produits qui aident les enfants Ă  devenir plus responsables. L’un de nos posts les plus populaires sur le blog SoSooper Ă©tait un tableau de responsabilitĂ©s qui attribuait les taches de la maison aux enfants. Ludocatix remplace ces tableaux fait-maison par des beaux outils qui permettent aux parents de crĂ©er des routines positives avec leurs enfants.

Maman NYC Ă  Paris

Mon premier jour chez Mona, avant de me mettre au travail, je me suis arrĂȘtĂ© au cafĂ© Maman qui se situe dans le coworking. J’ai Ă©tĂ© chaudement accueilli par Antoine et son Ă©quipe. Ils servent le cafĂ© et le thĂ© avec le sourire, et de nombreux dĂ©lices salĂ©s et sucrĂ©s (sourire y compris aussi). Quoi de mieux pour garder nos collĂšgues motivĂ©s toute la journĂ©e.  Qu’est ce un coworking sans un cafĂ© ? Juste un espace…

My Little Paris

C’est l’Ă©quipe de My Little Paris qui nous accueil Ă  Mona.  My Little Paris a dĂ©marrĂ© avec cinq femmes qui se sont associĂ©es pour dĂ©nicher des produits qui reflĂ©taient le flair parisien. Elles les enveloppaient magnifiquement dans des “box” et les envoyaient aux mamans, aux papas et aux enfants…sur trois continents!  Avec My Little Paris, vous pouvez ĂȘtre un parent ET rester au top du chic.

Poke Bar

C’est grĂące Ă  nos enfants que j’ai rencontrĂ© Elodie Macquet. Également mĂšre de garçons, Elodie est une entrepreneuse en sĂ©rie. Elle et sa voisine Isabelle ont ouvert Poke Bar en Mars, apportant le soleil d’HawaĂŻ aux tables parisiennes. Leur restaurant, juste Ă  cĂŽtĂ© de la place de l’OpĂ©ra, sert des bols pokĂ©, frais, sur place et Ă  emporter. Nos garçons adolescents se sont rĂ©galĂ©s avec un repas, sain, lĂ©ger ET nourrissant.

Ruth Naomi Floyd

Ruth et moi avons appris Ă  nous connaĂźtre grĂące Ă  une erreur de ma part.  Elle a chantĂ© du gospel mis en musique de jazz pour un Ă©vĂ©nement que j’ai organisĂ© … elle est arrivĂ©e Ă  Paris un jour plus tĂŽt que j’avais prĂ©vu ! Aucune chambre d’hĂŽtel n’était disponible, elle est alors venue Ă  la maison. Nous nous sommes rĂ©unis autour d’un dĂźner familiale (avec tout le bruit de 4 garçons Ă  table).  Multi-talentueuse, Ruth est Ă©galement photographe des beaux-arts et s’occupe avec compassion et respect de personnes affectĂ©es par le VIH.

TooFruit

Our children’s classmates stem from an entrepreneurial vibe!  It’s through our son that we met Katell Perrot just as she was launching TooFruit.  We tasted her enthusiasm as she introduced us to blueberry lotions and pineapple creams especially developed for children’s skin.  These organic potions deliciously cleanse and nourish kids from head to toe.

(Une ParenthĂšse Bougie)

Encore grĂące Ă  Femmepreneurs j’ai virtuellement rencontrĂ© ValĂ©rie Nicol. NoĂ«l c’est la saison des bougies et ValĂ©rie a choisi ses bougies pour leur cĂŽtĂ© magique qui s’adapte Ă  toutes les humeurs. Quand j’ai mentionnĂ© le thĂšme du calendrier, elle s’est exclamĂ©e: «J’ai pile ce qu’il faut ! C’est tout nouveau dans notre catalogue pour la saison ! ???? “

Villa Manon

Une autre rencontre grĂące Ă  nos enfants.  Mary Holmes Smith a participĂ© Ă  des ateliers Discipline Positive que je menais. Maintenant, c’est moi qui prend ses cours!  Je me rend rĂ©guliĂšrement Ă  son studio pour des cours de Pilates et de Yoga. Lorsque nous rentrons dans son atelier, un souffle de sĂ©rĂ©nitĂ© nous envahit, parfumĂ© au gingembre et au citron. Il parait que cela favorise les Ă©tirements et le renfort musculaire.

Vincent Cassigneul

C’est un ancien camarade de classe de mon mari qui vit Ă  Toulouse. La photographie est sa passion et en tant que pĂšre de quatre filles, il s’est entrainĂ© sur de jolis mannequins. Lors d’une sortie en pĂ©niche sur la Seine j’ai Ă©tĂ© impressionnĂ©e par l’oeil vif que possĂšde Vincent. Il reussi Ă  capturer des moments dont nous ne profitons pas assez.  

Wine Contacts

J’ai rencontrĂ© Mary Kirk Bonnet grĂące Ă  nos fils respectifs. Franco-amĂ©ricaine, Mary dĂ©tient le prestigieux titre de «Sommelier-Conseil». Elle a sublimĂ© nos dĂźners avec des sĂ©lections de vignobles d’exception. Nos amis s’extasient toujours sur l’expĂ©rience chaleureuse et dĂ©licieuse que nous avons vĂ©cue au cours de la dĂ©gustation de vins entre amis chez nous.

 

Merci

Un grand merci Ă  vous tous qui me faites confiance dans ce projet. Je remercie tout particuliĂšrmement celles que je n’ai pas encore rencontrĂ© et qui ont, quand mĂȘme, contribuĂ©es Ă  l’aventure parce qu’ils sont passionnĂ©es et croient dans le sens de notre projet commun:

Joy. Peace. Love. @ Home

et

Enthousiasme. Passion. Cooperation. @ Work !

Joy. Peace. Love. @ Home et Enthousiasme. Passion. Cooperation. @ Work. 🙂 Click to Tweet

 

Cover Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

Child in front of Christmas presents

Co + Work for your Joy. Peace. Love. @ Home

Posted on by Denise

How the seed of an idea took root and blossomed into a collaborative project for YOU.

Parisian entrepreneurs are offering parents 1000€ of gifts through an interactive, online Parents’ Advent Calendar.

(There is still time to sign up in English…ou en français)

 

It Began at Mona

When this free co-working space for women opened in November, I jumped at the opportunity to work with dynamic, feminine company.

A BIG thanks to the sponsors – My Little Paris, AXA Insurance, EstĂ©e Lauder, and Nike – who bring us this welcoming space from November 1 through December 31, 2017.

What can one do in a co-working space that one cannot be done at home all alone?

CO as well as WORK!

Five minutes into walking through the front door I introduced myself to the woman sitting at my table.  Well, really, she was happily sitting there first and I smilingly intruded, asking if I might join.  I set an objective to meet five new people every day and discovered passionate women engaged in fascinating projects.

What enticing project could I build to share my passion for strong families that stay connected even during the tantrums AND the disobedience AND the frustrations of daily life?

A “CO” project!

A Meaningful Purpose

As a parenting coach trained in Adlerian principles, I espouse the principles of belonging to and contributing to a community with a purpose larger than oneself.

Which purpose?

At this time of year, Christmas seemed obvious.  And yet French friends have lamented the commercialized spirit.

The underlying spirit of the season is Joy. Peace. Love. 

We parents raise the joy-bringer and peace-makers of tomorrow through the love they experience at home!

We are raising the joy-bringer and peace-makers of tomorrow! Click to Tweet

Voilà!  Joy. Peace. Love. @ Home

 

Stronger Together

Enthused by the idea, I discovered an amazing online interactive Advent Calender by Dot.vu.  Check it out.  Their 15 day free trial allowed me to test the idea with potential collaborators.  Their service is top notch.  Tom invited me for a 30 minute Google Hangout personalized guide and Pedro answered my (numerous) queries efficiently and professionally.

Enthused by the purpose and the tool, 15 entrepreneurs joined in.

It is a delight to introduce them to you.  Today you meet the people.

(Every day of advent you’ll discover the gifts they each share.)

Denise Dampierre, founder of SoSooper

A bit about me:  As a Harvard MBA and the mother of 4 boys in 6 years, I’ll describe the early years of parenting as the energy-management business:  expend the boys’; conserve mine.  Now, we focus on making empowering memories and creating a family culture where everyone thrives.  My passion: to help raise the next generation of joy-filled, peace-making, and loving men and women.

Adrien Bracon, Coiffeur Ă  Domicile

Adrien has styled my hair for decades.  Trained at Jean-Marc Manniatis, the Haute Coiffure, Adrien now brings his talent “chez vous.”  Phew! Instead of lugging four tots to the hairdresser and waiting out their turn, we could spend that time snuggling at home while Adrien styled the whole family.  He is so talented, I give him “carte blanche” on my head.

Alice Lamotte

Mothers of four children flock together, especially when we seek ways for families to THRIVE (vs. survive).  Alice and I met through Positive Discipline where we both sought training to build respect-filled and cooperative homes
first “chez nous” then beyond.  Alice abounds in energy.  She combines physical health with socio-emotional well-being in her Gym & Talk coaching.

Beija-Flore

Béatrice Cornet Vernet and I connected through Femmepreneurs, a network of women entrepreneurs in the west of Paris.  I fell in love with her Liberty fabric accessories.  Béatrice and I have not yet met face-to-face (!) AND she graciously agreed to join in our adventure even during this busy time of Christmas fairs every weekend.

Chantal Bourges

Chantal and I were roommates at an international Positive Discipline conference.  You get to appreciate someone when you see them with tousled-hair and sleepy-eyed.  The mother of FIVE children, Chantal sat on the board of the French and US Positive Discipline associations.  She coaches and trains parents and teachers locally and internationally.

Elli Photography

Elli Ioannou and I met at Mona.  As another Anglophone (Elli hails from Australia) she too felt at ease with the “CO” aspect of coworking.  She is established as a fashion photographer trained in analog photos.  That means, she catches the moment (think kids).  Elli got excited about our collaborative project; ”I choose to work with this community!”

English Dream Cakes

As a member of the Facebook group Anglopreneurs, I saw a post of ravishingly dreamily decorated cakes.  The post came and went.  The image remained.  And what a joy it has been to exchange with mother-daughter team Cheryl and Dew.  They combine genteel with professional.  Stir in creativity and cover with generosity.  All served with a delicious smile.

Feminicity

Amanda Wigby and I learned to appreciate each other through constructive feedback.  We challenged each other to overcome a discrepancy between our “Talk” (the services we provide) and our “Walk” (how we express our expertise in everyday life).  Authentic, open, and visionary, Amanda helps you and me replace “I should” behavior with acting on our personal priorities.

Light On

A group of students at ISCOM are helping me with the backstage of this project.  The correct my French, give feedback, do design work, stay active on social media, and cheer me on.  It’s thanks to knowing they are covering my back that I dared to venture on this project.  Thanks, to Anaïs Kisasondi, Camille Meunier-Sirven, Rose Rapp, Elodie Schwinn, and Laura Wieczorek.

Ludocatix

Virginie Chabert also comes to us through Femmepreneurs.  Virginie creates products that help children grow in responsibility.  One of our most popular downloads on SoSooper was a chore chart for kids to want to help with chores.  Ludocatix replaces my cut-and-paste routine charts with positive-parenting-inspired tools that children and parents build together.

Maman NYC Ă  Paris

I shared about my first day at Mona.  Before settling down to work, I paused at the Maman cafĂ© located on the premises to be warmly greeted by Antoine and his team.  They smilingly serve coffee, tea, and especially yummy delights (both savory and sweet) to keep us coworkers energized during the day.  A coworking without coffee & cooking?  Just a space


My Little Paris

It’s the My Little Paris team that greets us so warmly at Mona.  The company launched with five women teaming to sniff out trends and deals which reflect Parisian flair.  They wrapped these up beautifully in boxes, and send them out to moms, dads, and tots too…on three continents!  I love how My Little Paris makes it easy to remain chic when we parents have little energy and time to spare.

Poke Bar

Our children introduced me to Elodie Macquet.  Also a mother of boys, Elodie is a serial entrepreneur.  She and her neighbor Isabelle opened Poke Bar in March, bringing Hawaii sunshine to Parisian tables.  Their restaurant, just off place de l’OpĂ©ra, serves fresh poke bowls on the spot and to go.  Our teen boys delighted on their tasty, healthy, light, AND filling meal.

Ruth Naomi Floyd

Ruth and I came to know each other through my mistake.  In Paris to sing gospel lyrics set to jazz music for an event I organized
she arrived a day earlier than I expected!!  No room at the hotel, she came to our home and partook in our noisy, home-fare dinner.  Joy!  Multi-talented, Ruth is also a fine-arts photographer and compassionately cares for people affected by HIV and AIDS.

TooFruit

Our children’s classmates stem from an entrepreneurial vibe!  It’s through our son that we met Katell Perrot just as she was launching TooFruit.  We tasted her enthusiasm as she introduced us to blueberry lotions and pineapple creams especially developed for children’s skin.  These organic potions deliciously cleanse and nourish kids from head to toe.

(Une ParenthĂšse Bougie)

Femmepreneurs came through again to introduce ValĂ©rie Nicol
virtually.  ‘Tis the season of candlelight and ValĂ©rie specially selects her candles for mood magic.  When I mentioned the theme, she exclaimed, “I’ve got just the candle for the occasion.  It’s even new to the catalog ????”

Villa Manon

Another through-our-children meeting with Mary Holmes Smith.  She participated in a Positive Discipline class with other parents and we stayed connected.  Now I frequent her studio where she leads Pilates and yoga classes.  It’s a breathe of rejuvenation to enter her serene, ginger-lemon scented atelier for stretching and strengthening.

Vincent Cassigneul

A classmate of my husband living in Toulouse, Vincent and I meet at reunions.  Photography is his hobby and as the father of four girls, he’s had practice with models.  On a boat party recently, Vincent impressed me with his eye.  He captured moments that many of us miss.  While we focused on the obvious, Vincent sought out pearls. Thanks.

Wine Contacts

Our sons’ brought Mary Kirk Bonnet and I together.  A Franco-American, Mary holds the prestigious “Sommelier-Conseil” title.  She has graced our dinner parties with choice selections from favorite vineyards.  Our friends still rave about the insightful, warm, and delightful time we shared during the private wine-tasting Mary led in our home.  Thanks.

 

Thank You

A big thanks to all of you who trusted in me and in this project  and chose to work together.  And a special thanks to those I have not yet met who jumped in this collaborative effort because they have a passion and believe in our combined purpose:

Joy. Peace. Love. @ Home

and

Thrill. Passion. Cooperation. @ Work !

Joy. Peace. Love. @ Home and Thrill. Passion. Cooperation. @ Work. 🙂 Click to Tweet

 

Cover Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

What signs are you looking for in your kids?

Posted on by Denise

You and I find what we seek.

What if we’re looking for the wrong things?!

We sure looked hard for the right signs during the journey along the Camino Trail from Notre Dame in Paris to Chartres Cathedral.  Discover how this also relates to parenting.

 

Eight of us set out for this 100 km hike over five days.  We held high expectations
without really knowing what to expect.  Sounds a little like parenting too!

We did know what to look for: the blue and yellow symbol of a shell which led us to Chartres Cathedral.  Step. By. Step.

Chartre Cathedral and pilgrims
We made it…following the blue & yellow signs.

Following the Signs

We came across loads of other signs along the way too, including

Restaurants – Tourist attractions – Highways – Danger of Death (!) – Rain ahead (dark clouds in the sky) – 


Dampierre town, namesake
“Wrong” sign. Did they name the town for me?! (My family name is Dampierre)… Still miles to go to Chartres.

All of these indications were true and real.

Only some of them lead to the desired destination.

When it way my turn to head the group, I kept a close watch for the blue and yellow markers.  We had (barely) enough energy to get to our destination.  Getting lost or sidetracked were not options.

Follow the Yellow (and Blue) brick road.

 

Signs for Parents

What do you and I look for in our kids?

Do these indicators enable our children to have a wonderful life and make a living?

Are these the pointers that make parenting easier and more fun?

In my parenting classes I hear two general messages from parents:

  1. I want the kids to be happy
  2. I wish they behaved differently (!)

 

Parents Desire Signs for Happiness


As we uncover these desires, parents agree that happy kids espouse positive attitudes and acquire social and emotional skills.

How do children learn these?  Like everything else.  Either they learn it right the first time or they have to re-learn.  And that often requires correction.  Parents in my coaching call this “policing” – (verb) the need to check that kids’ undesirable behavior is not being done! 

And it’s NO FUN.

 


YET Mom & Dad are On-the-Lookout for Trouble

Much of family change management (a sophisticated term for parental discipline) is focused on fixing what’s broke.  We look for the problems and then solve them.

We look for problems!

What if WE LOOK FOR POTENTIAL STRENGTHS?!

It’s a revolutionary paradigm shift!

We begin to look for different signs.

 

Instead of focusing on the child's problems, why not seek out his potential strengths. Revolutionary paradigm shift. Click to Tweet
Check out these examples:

(This inclusive, strength-based approach is called Appreciative Inquiry and was developped by David Cooperrider at Case-Western University.  Here is a story-telling video by Jackie Kelm, author of Appreciative Living, which clearly describes the inspiring principle.  Appreciative Inquiry works in groups as large as the US Army and as intimate as your and my family.)

The Angry Child

Problem Sign = Trantrum

Potential Strength Sign = Calming Down

What helps her calm down?  Where is your daughter most calm?
When was the last time your son was able to overcome anger?  What happened that made this possible?

 

The Disrespectful Child

Problem Sign = Does not listen.  Parents repeat.  Repeat. REPEAT.

Potential Strength Sign = Showing Interest

When was your daughter passionate about something?  How was your exchange:  were you a know-it-all or was she discovering answers on her own?  Did you speak in statements or through questions?

 

The Whining Child

It’s the season of Thanksgiving.  During family reunions, when remembering folks with gratitude, whining is a Problem Sign!

Gratitude endears both the one being grateful and those who are appreciated.

 

Finding YOUR Child’s Potential Strength Signs

Can we help you find the Potential Strengths Signs in your children?

Parents often come to us when they’re discouraged.  The Problem Signs tend to be the most glaringly visible and it’s hard to see anything else.

It can even be a challenge to know which qualities are most important for YOUR family.

Let us know which of these qualities is most important for you to build up in your child

Which quality is most important to build in your child?
vote

 

Trying to transmit all of these SIMULTANEOUSLY is a daunting task.  So break it down into do-able tasks. 🙂

That’s where SoSooper can help you to

  1. Identify the qualities you desire to transmit to your child
  2. Identify the signs that indicate you’re going that way (or not!)
  3. Create paths to intentionally PREVENT (vs. correct) getting side-tracked or feeling lost

 

Talk soon.

Angry Zax screaming

Stop anger-gangrene:  Love vs. Be right

Posted on by Denise

Angry words.

“This food is disgusting!”

And, just in case the entire dinner company had not heard the announcement correctly,

“THIS FOOD IS FOR PIGS.”

Earlier in the day, this mother and her son enjoyed an outing at the neighboring pick-your-own farm where they harvested fresh corn.

Golden and shining with butter, the corn-on-the-cob now lay steaming on their plates.

Girl eating corn on the cob

“Yummy” to most of the family.

“Yucky” to one



who decided that if he had to suffer, then everyone would too.

My friend looked at me dolefully as she shared the story.  Then admitted, she wished it had been a child speaking.

The anger-spewer was an adult.

 

Being Right Fuels Anger

School of Etiquette 101 teaches that insulting the cook is impolite and wrong.  School of Life teaches that if you want food for dinner tomorrow, talk nice.

From the school of Mom-of-4-Boys, I know how much sweat, elbow grease, time, money, AND LOVE go into meals.

Planning.  Shopping.  Preparing. Eating. Teaching table manners. Cleaning.

And over again.

Rude comments à table just slice up the atmosphere.  Conversation is chewed up.  The mood and the food lose their spice.

I understood her anger and feeling of justified ire in the face of purposeful insults. ESPECIALLY from an adult.  Aghhh!  Those repeated times trying to set a good example being swiftly undercut!

My friend poured out her frustration and fury.  She was RIGHT.  The other one was wrong.

 

And yet
I wonder if the other person felt justified in spouting these purposeful insults too.  There usually is another side of a story.

My friend was not ready to hear that.  Not while she relived the feelings of being shamed in front of her children and of having her parenting efforts dismantled.  So, I stayed with her.  Just stayed
until she readied to move out of
reliving the pain.

Our feelings don’t just linger as emotions; they lead to decisions and actions. 

Often hurt leads to revenge.

Often hurt leads to revenge. Click to Tweet

Yet, what a cost.  When the sh__ hits the fan, there’s LOTS of clean-up.  Too much for my taste!

 

My friend’s issue centered on corn-on-the-cob comments.  You and I will have another.  And we will ALL face the same choices:

  • To focus on the behavior
or on the relationship?
  • To choose to be “Right” 
or will I choose to love?
  • To try and change other people
or to venture to grow ourselves?

I choose to change me.

It might sound easy.  IT IS TOUGH.

 

When Being Right Means Being Stuck in Anger

In no way do I condone disrespectful comments or inappropriate table manners.

At the same time, I don’t want to be a Zax either.

In this Dr. Seuss story, the South-going Zax and the North-going Zax met up and neither will budge.  They “reason” (a.k.a. argue). “Discuss” (a.k.a. butt heads).  And stay stuck, arms crossed, faces frowned.  Meanwhile life progresses around them.

Angry Zax screaming
“I’m right.” “No, I am Right.” ” NO!!! I AM RIGHT (bleep)”
Angry Zax stay mad
The two stubborn Zax stuck in their tracks…

If a relationship has a chance, someone must make a conciliatory move. 

And the only person I can control is me.

 

I remember when I tried to mend a bruised relationship.  I used “I statements” like, “I felt hurt when you _______ (spoke meanly about the food) and I would like to hear you recognize that ______(those were mean words).”

The person stormed out of the room.

I tried again a day later.  “You have to learn to let go,” I was told.

 

Choosing to Love

That response hurt.

And part of me wanted to let the relationship go.

Yet I choose to stay connected.

It means choosing to love even still


Nelson Mandela is reputed to say, “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

I want to live.  Richly.  Fully.

Not feebly in between sips of arsenic.

LEARN TO LET GO!

It’s disconcerting to hear the right message when it comes from the “wrong” person.

It’s disconcerting to hear the right message when it comes from the “wrong” person. Click to Tweet

 

Loving above & beyond Anger or Hurt

Here’s what helped me let go.

Look at what to hold onto

Not focusing on the hurt is like not thinking of the pink elephant.

Every time you try, it looms LARGE.

Instead choose to concentrate on something positive

  • To define respect in your home
  • To heal the other’s wounds
    (Those who hurl revenge often harbor hurt)

 

Focus on the issue (vs. taking it personally)

If there were no grain of truth, an insult would have little hold.

An offense aims to distract from the issue to the person.  We all mess up.  It does not make us a messed-up person.

Go on a treasure hunt to identify the underlying grievance.  Does it concern your behavior?  Might it belong to the other person?

It could be their need to feel loved, belonging, and able to contribute.  We humans become superbly AWKWARD in expressing our deepest needs!

Maybe your and my vision is blurred.  Our “attacker” untucked a hidden issue (like, “you take care of the kids but not me”).  We would have trouble hearing the message even if it were kindly said


Is there a “right” person or a “good” way to learn DIFFICULT lessons?!

 

Get encouragement elsewhere

Airplane security guidelines ALWAYS indicate that in case of turbulence to put on our own oxygen mask before assisting others.

How are you and I getting that required boost?

Schedule self-care.  Make time to do one thing that makes you feel better.

Do it before the crash!

 

In an ideal world, we might commune over every topic with our spouse.  We don’t all live in Utopia at every second of the day.

It’s too much to ask of anyone to completely fill our emotional needs.  Could you do that for others?  (I cannot.)

Give your partner a break.  You and I will need them to let go for us too.

Bon courage!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Harvard Business School New Venture Competition

SoSooper is a finalist in Harvard Business School NVC Europe

Posted on by Denise

Sooper Exciting News

Our mobile app for parents has been selected as a finalist in the Harvard Business School New Venture Competition Europe!  There were 26 contestants for 5 places.  We made the cut!

We will be pitching to 100+ business folk about being the best parent we can be.

We are honored to be present, knowing that the discussion will cover both business issues (how will we generate income) as well a matters touching our ingrained beliefs:

  • Are “good parents” born or can leadership in our homes be learned?
  • How to accompany parents AND allow freedom to create their own, unique family culture?

As my sister says, “Exciting, invigorating, intimidating, energizing, challenging, exhilarating.”

Many thanks to all who support me so well.

SoSooper is finalist for HBS NVC
European finalists for 2017 HBS NVC Europe

The Story behind SoSooper

A Mom in Need

As a young mom seeking help to manage four boys under seven years old I wondered:

“Folk can go to a bank or a financial counselor and expose very private information regarding money and request advice and this is conisdered intelligent.

Those same people seek advice regarding relationships…and they have a problem.

Humm. I hope someone will do something to remedy this discrepancy.”

And, today, maybe that someone is…me.

Insights from Cosmetics

When I worked in cosmetics, one brand introduced beauty advice on an iPad.  Customers appreciated the anonimity of these tools.

They found it more pleasant to admit skin problems to a machine than to a  made-up beauty who agrees you have blackheads on your nose!

Might the same be true with personal issues?

A New Child

SoSooper, my fifth child, is born. This mobile app helps parents navigate – positively and quickly – challenges with kids.

  • Provides parents with solutions for their Need. NOW.
  • Connects parents with parenting experts and other moms and dads like them
  • Is available on their phone.  Anytime & anywhere.

Read more.

Happy New Year tiara for girl

The Family Feedback with little children

Posted on by Denise

How much can your young child tell you about YOUR job as a parent?

Quite a lot.

By listening you share encouraging words for your kids.

The Family Feedback with tots

The Family Feedback is ONE GREAT FAMILY TIME where kids give feedback to parents. They start with the good stuff 🙂 and move onto deeper discussion.  Read more here.

For very young kids, we stick to sharing family highlights.  

You want your kids to associate “family” with “fun”?  Then ask them to tell you about a fun time with Mom or Dad.  This strengthens the neural messaging in their brains so that they can more easily access memories of great times as a family.

Our brain is amazing…and malleable.

Ask, “Tell me about a time you felt really happy with us.”

“When we played ball together.”

Help your child fully recall with the experience through specific and factual questions.

“What color was our ball?” “Was it before or after lunch?” “Who else was playing with us?”

Then gently probe for what generated the positive emotions.

“What was soooooo great?” “Which part made you feel the most special?”  “What did you do to show you were happy?”

Thank your child.  

“Your telling me when you were happy makes me very happy too.  Thanks, Darling.”

We tried it & loved it

Here’s what one mother shared after a SoSooper workshop where she and her three year old daughter enjoyed such a conversation:

“My daughter was probably a little bit young (only 3) and I think was struggling to really engage with the activities. However, even though she dealt with it on her level, I think she still got a lot out of the experience – and found it nice that it was a time where mummy was ready to listen to her and find out what she found fun and loving about being in our family.

This workshop reminded me that we do all right as a family (eating together, playing together, respecting each other). As I’m sure you know only too well – it’s a tricky job, mummying, and can seem very unrewarding sometimes. If I were a business, (actually I’m a secondary school teacher) I wouldn’t put up with clients who were so demanding and so seemingly ungrateful for all my efforts. I think what you’re doing is so important – just like in any job, you have training for that ‘shot in the arm’ of enthusiasm and clarity to do your job better every day. Parents need that more than anyone!”

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SoSooper prepared some worksheets for you:

  • to prepare
  • to succeed
  • to remember

Click here to get your free downloads.

Cover photo by Jerry Kiesewetter on Unsplash